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DON'T LISTEN TO ASHLEY MIAMI IT'S SO DUMB

"Rapper" & "Prankster" (Self-Proclaimed)
1,000,000 12 Actual Listeners
100% 2/10 Music Skills
VIRAL 2 Views Most Popular Video
HILARIOUS Meh Prank Success Rate

🏆 "ACHIEVEMENTS" 🏆

🎤 Created "Music" (Technically)
Successfully pressed record on a microphone. What happened next can only be described as "sounds came out." Auto-tune refused to help.
😂 Attempted Comedy
Pulled off a prank where literally nobody laughed. When asked about it, said "you had to be there." We were there. Still not funny.
đŸŽĩ Invented New Musical Notes
Discovered notes that exist between all the other notes. Music theorists call them "wrong notes." Ashley calls them "innovative."
📱 Built a Following
Has 47 followers. 23 are bots. 15 are family members. 6 followed by accident. 3 are actively trying to unfollow but can't figure out how.
🎭 Self-Confidence Level: Maximum
Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, continues making music and pranks with the confidence of someone who thinks they're crushing it. Honestly? Kind of admirable.

⭐ REAL REVIEWS ⭐

★☆☆☆☆
"I played one of Ashley's songs for my dog and he literally walked out of the room. My DOG. The same dog that eats garbage and still comes back for more. Even HE had standards."
— @DogLover2024 on Twitter
☆☆☆☆☆
"Ashley tried to prank me by pretending to be a statue in the mall. But he kept giggling and checking his phone. A statue. That giggles. And texts. The bar is so low it's a tripping hazard in hell."
— Random Mall Security Guard
★☆☆☆☆
"The autotune gave up halfway through the second verse. Like it literally just stopped working. I didn't know software could experience despair until that moment."
— Sound Engineer (Therapy Required)
☆☆☆☆☆
"I've seen better flow from a clogged sink. The rhyme scheme makes Dr. Seuss look like Kendrick Lamar. At one point Ashley rhymed 'cat' with 'cat' three times in a row and called it 'experimental.'"
— Hip Hop Head Weekly
★☆☆☆☆
"The 'prank' was just Ashley jumping out and yelling 'BOO!' But he announced it 30 seconds in advance. And then apologized immediately. And asked if I was okay. That's not a prank, that's just bad anxiety management."
— Confused Roommate
☆☆☆☆☆
"I thought the beat was off. Turns out there WAS no beat. Ashley was just snapping his fingers out of rhythm while talking about 'vibes' and 'energy.' I want my 3 minutes back."
— Spotify Algorithm (Confused)
★☆☆☆☆
"Ashley replaced my shampoo with honey as a 'prank.' But he felt so guilty he immediately bought me new shampoo, conditioner, AND a spa gift card. I made $75 from this 'prank.' 10/10 would get pranked again."
— Victim (Profiting)
☆☆☆☆☆
"The lyrics were so bad that they accidentally became good, then looped back around to being bad again. It's like watching someone fail a backflip, land on his feet by accident, then immediately trip over his own shoelaces."
— Music Theory Professor (Crying)
★★★★★
"Five stars because I've never laughed this hard. Not AT the jokes, mind you. At the entire situation. The audacity. The confidence. The complete lack of self-awareness. It's performance art."
— You (Still Here For Some Reason)

đŸŽĩ THE "MUSIC" đŸŽĩ

(Actually though, go listen and judge for yourself. We're just being mean for comedy.)

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